Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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