We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
