You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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