franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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