I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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