Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
