so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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