4 words: hood of his car
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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