i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize