Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize