Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
