I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the condom got lost in my hair
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize