she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
