I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize