I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
