I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize