Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
