i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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