I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
