trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
