I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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