you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
