i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
