Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
