Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
