Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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