She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
