quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
