4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
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i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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