i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
