I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
