The maid of honor just puked.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
