Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
