We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
People in love make me want to vomit
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
