I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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