Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
