She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
