i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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