dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize