i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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