Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
