I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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