What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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