This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
why do cheetos always look like penises
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
