I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
