I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
COCAINE IS GR8
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
