I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
