New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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