forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think your dad took our porno
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
