hell yes lets make some ravioli
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
