There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
