Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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