Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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