bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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