Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
