So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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