would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
